Navigating the Realities of Parenting
The Joys of Parenting
The Joys of Parenting: the connection, the many milestones of growth, the adventures, the closeness, and the enjoyment of being and doing things together. Appreciating your child’s/adolescent’s resiliency, capability, responsibility, and growth. The Challenges of Parenting – the reality is that parenting is hard! None of us are perfect parents, and none of us had perfect parenting. We are navigating a course we haven’t done before with this unique child, their needs, intricacies, challenges, personality, neurodiverse development, and wiring, all while managing our own journey and background. It’s one of the hardest journeys because it is so unique and personal on so many levels.
The Cost of Parenting Well
In a parenting partnership or collaboration, everyone will have their own style and approaches. This can be tricky to navigate. However, today I want to touch on a tough reality, parenting costs us!
To parent well, we must look at the bigger picture for our child’s emotional, physical, mental, and psychological development. Helping them become responsible, resilient, respectful, and emotionally intelligent individuals/adults is not always a gentle walk in the park.
It’s great to be a loving and friendly parent. However, sometimes, or many times, we need to tolerate our child’s discomfort when they disconnect, accuse, or reject us.
This may include:
- Comparing you to their friends’ parents or the other parent.
- Accusing you of being unfair.
- Protesting and disagreeing with the values you hold in your home.
- Resisting boundaries or expectations.
For some parents, the discomfort and tension are relieved by giving in, relinquishing their values for immediate relief instead of finding ways to manage the discomfort.
For example, this may look like giving more screen time to your child than you would like, just to be relieved from the protest, pushback, and aggravation from them.
Common Parenting Challenges
This dynamic can show up in any number of areas:
- Disrespectful language or encounters with your child/adolescent.
- Broken trust/dishonesty.
- Irresponsible behavior.
- Not completing contributions (chores) or homework.
- Poor mental health behaviors and mood-altering activities.
When we fold or give in, our kids can become more insecure, disrespectful, dysregulated, or entitled. The boundaries are blurred.
Being a Friend vs. Being a Parent Leader
The distinction between being a friend versus a parent leader has long-term implications.
Having the capacity to tolerate discomfort and show up differently requires intentional work on connecting with parts of ourselves that become dysregulated. Discovering the underlying barriers while acquiring new tools and skills enables us to lead confidently.
The Investment of Intentional Parenting
- More calm, less chaos.
- A grounded approach with language and tools to handle tough situations.
- Becoming a confident parent is an ongoing journey of growth.
- Strengthening your ability to parent within your sphere of influence.
Are You Ready to Grow as a Parent Leader?
Questions for Reflection:
- What are you doing to increase your capacity, confidence, and strength as a strong parent leader?
- Would you like to have more constructive conversations with your pre-teen or adolescent?
- Would you like to become stronger and more confident in setting healthy boundaries with your child/adolescent?
- Would you like your child to do more thinking and invest in their learning?
Change and Growth Are Possible
We have a pathway to support you through Parent and Therapeutic Coaching and Counselling.
Teaching Kids for Life is now working with families, offering services to support your child/adolescent and the entire family system.
Additional Support for Families:
Join us on this journey to build stronger, healthier family connections!
