Parenting involves two key components:
1. The Joyful Journey
Parenting is filled with joys – the connection, milestones of growth, shared adventures, closeness, and the enjoyment of doing things together. It’s an opportunity to appreciate your child’s or adolescent’s:
- Resilience
- Capability
- Responsibility
- Growth
2. The Challenges
Parenting is hard! None of us are perfect parents, nor did we experience perfect parenting ourselves. Parenting is a unique journey, one we’ve never traveled with this specific child before. Along the way, we navigate:
- Their unique needs and intricacies
- Their personality, challenges, and neurodiverse development
- Our own journey, background, and limitations
Parenting is one of the hardest journeys because it’s deeply personal and unique to each family.
The Reality: Parenting Costs Us
Parenting is not a gentle walk in the park. To parent well and support a child’s emotional, physical, mental, and psychological growth, we must look at the bigger picture – helping them become responsible, resilient, respectful, and emotionally intelligent adults.
Sometimes, we need to tolerate discomfort when our child:
- Disconnects from us
- Accuses or rejects us
- Compares us to their friends’ parents or the other parent
- Protests and disagrees with our values, boundaries, or expectations
Avoiding the Trap of Immediate Relief
For some parents, discomfort and tension are relieved by giving in—relinquishing their values for short-term peace instead of addressing the situation calmly and thoughtfully.
Examples include:
- Allowing more screen time than you’d prefer to avoid protests or pushback
- Overlooking disrespectful language or encounters
- Ignoring broken trust or dishonesty
- Excusing irresponsible behaviour
- Letting go of expectations for chores, homework, or other contributions
- Overlooking mental health concerns or mood-altering behaviours
When we give in, we blur boundaries, leaving children more insecure, disrespectful, dysregulated, or entitled.
Parenting Leadership vs. Friendship
Being a parent leader instead of solely a friend has long-term implications. Tolerating discomfort and showing up differently takes intentional work:
- Connecting with the parts of ourselves that become dysregulated
- Discovering underlying barriers
- Acquiring tools and skills to lead confidently
The investment of being intentional brings more calm, less chaos, and greater capacity to handle tough situations.
Building Confidence as a Parent
Becoming a confident parent is an ongoing journey. It requires growth, intention, and the strength to work within your sphere of influence.
Ask yourself:
- What are you doing to increase your capacity, confidence, and strength as a parent leader?
- How are you working on staying calm and present in challenging situations?
Key Takeaways
- Connection is Key
Begin with calm, thoughtful questions to stay connected. - Tolerate Discomfort
Parenting within your value system often requires tolerating discomfort for long-term gains. - Stay Present
Manage yourself respectfully while remaining connected and present with your child.
Do You Want to Grow as a Parent?
Would you like to:
- Have more constructive conversations with your pre-teen or adolescent?
- Strengthen your confidence in setting healthy boundaries?
- Encourage your child to think critically and invest in their learning?
Change and growth are possible!
We’re Here to Support You
Teaching Kids for Life offers:
- Parent and Therapeutic Coaching and Counselling
- Support for the whole family system, working with your child/adolescent and beyond
📞 Call Now: 0414 485 938