Parenting involves two key components:

1. The Joyful Journey

Parenting is filled with joys – the connection, milestones of growth, shared adventures, closeness, and the enjoyment of doing things together. It’s an opportunity to appreciate your child’s or adolescent’s:

  • Resilience
  • Capability
  • Responsibility
  • Growth

2. The Challenges

Parenting is hard! None of us are perfect parents, nor did we experience perfect parenting ourselves. Parenting is a unique journey, one we’ve never traveled with this specific child before. Along the way, we navigate:

  • Their unique needs and intricacies
  • Their personality, challenges, and neurodiverse development
  • Our own journey, background, and limitations

Parenting is one of the hardest journeys because it’s deeply personal and unique to each family.


The Reality: Parenting Costs Us

Parenting is not a gentle walk in the park. To parent well and support a child’s emotional, physical, mental, and psychological growth, we must look at the bigger picture – helping them become responsible, resilient, respectful, and emotionally intelligent adults.

Sometimes, we need to tolerate discomfort when our child:

  • Disconnects from us
  • Accuses or rejects us
  • Compares us to their friends’ parents or the other parent
  • Protests and disagrees with our values, boundaries, or expectations

Avoiding the Trap of Immediate Relief

For some parents, discomfort and tension are relieved by giving in—relinquishing their values for short-term peace instead of addressing the situation calmly and thoughtfully.

Examples include:

  • Allowing more screen time than you’d prefer to avoid protests or pushback
  • Overlooking disrespectful language or encounters
  • Ignoring broken trust or dishonesty
  • Excusing irresponsible behaviour
  • Letting go of expectations for chores, homework, or other contributions
  • Overlooking mental health concerns or mood-altering behaviours

When we give in, we blur boundaries, leaving children more insecure, disrespectful, dysregulated, or entitled.


Parenting Leadership vs. Friendship

Being a parent leader instead of solely a friend has long-term implications. Tolerating discomfort and showing up differently takes intentional work:

  • Connecting with the parts of ourselves that become dysregulated
  • Discovering underlying barriers
  • Acquiring tools and skills to lead confidently

The investment of being intentional brings more calm, less chaos, and greater capacity to handle tough situations.


Building Confidence as a Parent

Becoming a confident parent is an ongoing journey. It requires growth, intention, and the strength to work within your sphere of influence.

Ask yourself:

  • What are you doing to increase your capacity, confidence, and strength as a parent leader?
  • How are you working on staying calm and present in challenging situations?

Key Takeaways

  1. Connection is Key
    Begin with calm, thoughtful questions to stay connected.
  2. Tolerate Discomfort
    Parenting within your value system often requires tolerating discomfort for long-term gains.
  3. Stay Present
    Manage yourself respectfully while remaining connected and present with your child.

Do You Want to Grow as a Parent?

Would you like to:

  • Have more constructive conversations with your pre-teen or adolescent?
  • Strengthen your confidence in setting healthy boundaries?
  • Encourage your child to think critically and invest in their learning?

Change and growth are possible!


We’re Here to Support You

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